


Peace

by heartheldhostage



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Denial, Life in Heaven, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:00:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28172820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartheldhostage/pseuds/heartheldhostage
Summary: Dean learns some things after Sam finally gets to Heaven. Will it be too much and drive the brothers apart?
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51





	Peace

Chapter 1

Just as Dean had been pulling onto the bridge, he had popped Metallica's self-titled album into the cassette deck of Baby. Now he hears the last notes of the last song on the album. The album's running time is just over an hour. That's how long he and Sam have been standing here on this bridge, minus the time for their greeting and hug. Still, they have been standing here over an hour just soaking in the view and breathing, enjoying the feeling of finally being together again, of the weight of the world being lifted from their shoulders.

Sam realizes it, as well, because it's now that he nudges Dean with his elbow. “So, what have you been doing, Dee?”

“Been driving my girl around waiting for you. Picked up a hitchhiker a few miles back.” At Sam's inquisitive look, he adds, “Check the back seat.”

Sam turns and walks toward the Impala, running his hand down her side. “She's still beautiful.”

“Damn right, she is,” Dean says proudly.

Sam doesn't hide his smirk at that comment as he arrives at the back door of the car. He's smiling, nearly bouncing with delight as he opens the door and gets an armful of barking white fur. “Miracle! I didn't know if I'd ever see you again, boy!” Sam gets down on his knees and pets the dog.

“I came around a curve a while back, and there he was, just sitting at the side of the road looking at me. By the time I got Baby stopped and the door open, he was jumping in.”

“Well,” Sam says, his voice touched with just a tinge of melancholy, “at least we get to keep one being we loved in our lives.”

“We get more than one,” Dean says with a grin.

“Huh?”

“I wound up at the Roadhouse when I got here. Bobby was sitting out front waiting for me.”

“You have a memory of Bobby at the Roadhouse?” Sam asks.

“No. I even asked him which memory I was in. He explained that things have changed in Heaven. Seems like Jack came here after he left us. He busted Bobby out of lockup and did some remodeling. No more individual heavens, no more Memorex. Everybody's free to visit and exist how they want. Said whatever we want or need, it's ours.”

Sam stands and walks with Miracle back to Dean. “Mom? Dad?”

“Mom and Dad are here together. Bobby told me where they are so we can visit whenever you want.”

“There's so many people, Dee.”

“I know. The list is almost too long to start.”

“Who have you seen so far?”

Dean smirks. “Bobby - and now you.”

“You haven't seen anyone else? Not even Ellen and Jo since you were right there at the Roadhouse?” Sam asks in surprise.

“I figured we can catch up with all of them together. Unless there's somewhere you'd rather be.”

Sam shakes his head and smiles sadly as he looks out over the mountains. “I came straight to you and I'm wearing the same clothes as when you came for me at Stanford, but you still think I'm going to tell you to get lost.” He puts his hands on Dean's shoulders and looks him in the eyes. “Dee, we're soulmates. Nobody else matters to me as much as you do. Nobody ever did.”

Dean smiles and pulls his brother into another hug. “I spent a lifetime worrying that you would finally realize you deserve better than being stuck with me. Gonna take me a bit for it to sink in that you love me as much as I love you, Sammy.”

“You should have realized that when I released Amara to save you, jerk.”

Dean pulls back enough to see Sam's face. “I always knew you loved me. I also always knew you deserve better, bitch.”

“How the hell can you do better than the other half of your soul?”

Miracle barks as if in agreement with Sam.

The brothers laugh and kneel down to pet the dog. Dean asks, “So what do you want to do, Sammy? You want to go see Mom and Dad now?”

“Not yet. I want to let it sink in that this isn't just another dream and I'm going to wake up to find you still gone.”

“I was always with you,” Dean says as he places his hand over Sam's heart, “right here. I was always with you.”

Sam coughs to hide the well of emotion that threatens to boil over even here in Heaven. “Yeah, you always were, but you weren't there to see your nephew born, or to teach him to drive, or to see him learn about his heritage as a Man of Letters, or to see him graduate magna cum laude.”

“My nephew?” Dean's grin outshines the sun. Sam would swear it could be seen from Earth.

“Dean Johnathon Winchester. Dean.” Sam smiles as he thinks of his son. “He's more like you than I care to admit. Handsome, snarky, loving, generous, arrogant, and one badass fighter.”

“Of course he is. He's your son.” Dean slaps Sam on the shoulder. “Let's go find us a field to park in, have a couple of cold ones, and you can tell me all about your life.”

So they do. Dean loves that as soon as they settle on the hood of Baby, with Miracle running through the field, the sun sets enough that they can see the stars and planets. They drink their first beer in silence, just soaking in the memories and the peace.

“I almost couldn't do it,” Sam says quietly. “I stood in the field behind the bunker for hours staring at your body on that pyre. Everything in me screamed to contact Rowena, Jack, some witch, somebody, to get you back. I had my phone in my hand several times about to hit the phone number of that witch couple we tried to gank back when we were fighting the Leviathan. You remember the ones that nearly wiped out the town because they were so jealous?”

“Sammy,” Dean whispers.

Sam continues as if Dean hasn't spoken. “But I promised you. You put all your faith in me that I could carry on without you. I couldn't let you down again. So I swallowed hard, flicked the lighter, and burned your body.”

After a long gulp of his second beer, Sam continues. “I was nearly dead; just a ghost walking around the bunker for days. The only thing keeping me alive was taking care of Miracle. Then, one day, when I was crying in your room, your other, other phone rang. Donna had given the number to a cop in Texas. They had werewolves and no idea what to do. So I went. I went hoping I'd get killed on the hunt, but Winchester luck prevailed - I survived and ganked the werewolves.”

Dean stays silent, sensing Sam needs to get this out on his own terms.

“Couple of days later, I found another hunt. I was sloppy, careless, and unconcerned if I got killed. I was like that on a dozen or more hunts. I was like that until I chanced on a hunt where the victims were children. I straightened up real quick. Got my head on straight and did everything the way you and Dad taught me. It was another shtriga.”

“Damn,” Dean says, unable to hold the words back. “I'm sorry you had to face that alone, Sammy.”

“I wasn't alone. I had Dad's journal. I had what you both taught me. Most importantly, I had your desire for me to be safe running through my head and heart. I ganked the shtriga and called it quits.” Sam stops speaking long enough to take another swallow of his beer.

“That's when I got a job as an editor for a small internet news site located in a small town in California. I had thoughts of online classes at Stanford. That fell by the wayside when Donna and Jody started sending requests for lore and information my way. I got a house and set it up to work at home. That way I could do both jobs without suspicion.”

Miracle comes back to them and stretches out on the grass in front of Baby. 

Sam continues, “I met Lina at the local farmer's market. She'd just lost her husband. We started spending time together because we understood each other. We weren't in love, but we loved each other. Dean was born. We lived our lives. Losing her to cancer hurt; just nowhere near as much as losing you did. Not one day went by that I didn't miss you. Not one day went by that I didn't want to join you here.”

Dean gets down from the hood and opens the green cooler. He opens two more bottles and hands Sam one. As he's sitting back on the hood, he says, “You were always the strong one, Sammy. I knew you could do what I couldn't - survive without half of me. It sounds to me like you had a good life.”

“No,” Sam shakes his head. “A good life would have been one spent with you. I had a decent life. Your nephew was the reason I lasted as long as I did. He's a good man. I never wanted him to, but he took over our place as Legacies. He and his wife Milana, and two sons John and Bobby, live in the bunker and do the work of the Men of Letters. I managed to get him to promise me he would never hunt after his first son was born. Our line lives on, Dee. We won't be forgotten for a very long time.”

Dean smiles at Sam. “That matters less than I thought it would. What matters is that you were able to live on, able to smile, able to love. You were able to have the life you always deserved - a home, a family, some normalcy.”

“We, Dean, WE deserved that life.”

“That wasn't in the cards for me. The second Dad put you in my arms and told me to get you out of that burning house, my fate was sealed. Even if I hadn't been hunting, I would have been fighting fires and still would have died young saving someone. You know that.”

“I know you died like you lived – a hero. You're not the only Winchester who has always been proud of his brother.”

Dean smiles at the praise. He would have laughed it off in life, hating to show any vulnerability, but now he's able to accept that his life really was worth something, that he matters, that he really is more than a good little soldier. He bumps his shoulder against Sam's and takes a swig of his beer.

He watches Sam surreptitiously. He smiles again as he thinks to himself, “I raised this boy to be the man he is now. Then he raised the child that would become the new god and make this Heaven possible. He raised another son who will carry on our family business. I'm at least partly responsible for his big, loving, giving heart.” Dean may be a little proud of himself too.

The boys sit drinking in comfortable silence for hours after that, each one processing his own thoughts and feelings as they enjoy the beer and the stars. It's only when Miracle barks and tries to jump up on the car that the boys decide to call it a night.

Sam says, “I don't have a clue how much time has passed. Do we even need sleep anymore?”

“No idea,” Dean replies. “I haven't felt the need for sleep since I got here, but that seems like just hours ago to me.”

“You said Bobby told you Mom and Dad had a place together? Think we have someplace like that?”

Both brothers startle a little as the scenery around them morphs. The roadside field becomes a dirt driveway in the front of a log cabin nestled cozily beside a mountain lake. It's still night. Warm light streams through the big front bay window to the left of the door. Miracle barks and rushes up the five steps onto the porch and sits in front of the door wagging his tail.

Sam and Dean look at each other. Without a word passing between them, they ease from the hood of the car and approach the cabin much more cautiously than the dog did. They enter slowly, looking around to see a warm interior. 

There is a cushioned bench seat under the bay window. An inviting fire is burning in a large brick fireplace centered in the wall to the left of the front door. Filled bookshelves flank it. Soft light from two floor lamps illuminates the opposite side of the room and the desk against the wall under a large window decorated with dark blue curtains. An enormous sofa flanked by end tables, two plush recliners, and a huge wooden coffee table in their midst are situated in the center and barely fill the space. A luxurious area rug covers the floor under the seating area. Another is situated under the desk area. A third adds charm to the fireplace. 

A double-width doorway across from the front door leads to the modern looking kitchen. To the right of it is a staircase leading up to the second floor of the cabin.

On the coffee table lies a book with a photograph sticking out. Dean walks over and picks it up. “A Dance With Dragons. This is the last book I was reading.” He pulls the photograph from the book and looks at it. “Sammy,” he says as he holds the photo out for his brother to see.

“No way,” Sam exclaims when he walks over to look. The photograph is one of him, Dean, and John when they were kids. They were sitting on the hood of the Impala drinking sodas. John had gotten a groundskeeper to take it after a rare day of fun at a park.

“That's the photo I was using as a bookmark,” Dean says.

“Check this out,” Sam says as he returns to the bookshelf he had been perusing. “It's the entire lore collection I was cataloging when you...before I left the bunker.”

“I think this is our place, Sammy,” Dean says smiling.

At that moment, Miracle comes prancing into the room carrying a food bowl in his jaws. The bowl has his name on it. “I guess it is,” Sam replies with a smile.

They follow Miracle back to the kitchen. Without discussion, without much conscious thought, Sam goes to the walk-in pantry and grabs a bag of dog food and fills Miracle's bowl. As he fills another bowl with water, Dean pulls food from the refrigerator and prepares to cook.

“So tell me more about your life,” Dean says as he puts two hamburger patties into a frying pan and then begins slicing tomato.

“What else do you want to know?” Sam asks.

“You had a wife you loved, a son you obviously worshiped, a job practically tailor-made for you, but what about fun?”

“Well, I played a lot of catch with Dean. It was always fun working with him on lore and helping hunters.”

“No, I mean fun for you. Something not associated with the responsibility of hunting or parenting. Did you shoot pool? Read some fiction? Maybe learn to bowl or go sailing?” Dean asks.

“Not really,” Sam shrugs. “I taught Dean to shoot pool. I taught him to shoot guns and to fight. I played with him when he was young. Otherwise I worked, took care of him, and waited to be with you again.”

Dean stops slicing to flip the burgers and returns to slicing. “You had a life full of responsibility and no fun? I thought I taught you better than that.” He's slicing more forcefully than before flipping the burgers.

“My life wasn't without some fun, Dee. I just didn't take up bowling or see many movies, or develop new hobbies. I spent my time on what I enjoyed and what I was good at.”

Dean puts the knife down and leans against the counter facing away from Sam. “It's just...we used to talk about so many things we would do when we could finally leave the life. I expected you to do at least some of them.”

Sam shrugs again even though Dean isn't looking at him. “None of it would have been worth it without you there to share it. Hell, it wouldn't have done anything but hurt, and I would have had to pretend I wasn't about to cry.”

“Sammy...”

“Don't. I know you didn't want to leave me. I know it wasn't your fault, and I don't blame you. I didn't restrict my life because of your death. I just wasn't interested in doing any of the things we talked about without you there to enjoy them with me.”

Sam doesn't wait for Dean's reply. He picks up the head of lettuce and begins washing it. Dean switches the tomato for onion and continues slicing. 

“I felt lighter when I got here,” Dean says. “Lighter, but empty. I could feel part of me missing. I left Bobby as soon as I could and didn't go see Mom and Dad because I didn't feel right.”

Dean removes the burgers from the pan and puts buns in the toaster. “I knew I was supposed to feel a sense of peace. I didn't, not until you arrived on that bridge. Then I felt whole like I never have before. That was the first time I ever felt peace.”

Sam gets plates and glasses from the cabinets as Dean continues.

“Bobby sensed it. He knew. There was no way Mom and Dad wouldn't know something was off with me. So I drove. I didn't want to see anyone. I didn't want to see the sights. I didn't want to stop and think. I was running until I felt something calling to me. That's why I stopped on that bridge. I felt you coming. I knew the second you were here. I didn't want to experience Heaven without you here with me.”

They put their burgers together in silence and sit down at the table. Dean slips Miracle a slice of bacon and smiles at the bitchface Sam gives him. “I get it, Sammy. The not wanting to experience the good without me there to share it. I just wanted you to live a happy life is all.”

Sam's face softens. “I did, Dee. My life was happy when we were together - when it was us saving people, hunting things, the family business. The part of me that could experience true happiness died with...” Sam swallows over the lump in his throat, “it died with you in that barn.”

“The part of me that could experience peace stayed with you when I died,” Dean says, “but we're together again now. Nothing can stop us from being happy and at peace.”

The boys finish their meal and clean up. The kitchen is filled with lighthearted, brotherly banter and teasing. After the work is done, Sam goes to take a closer look at the books he'd been skimming earlier. Dean follows a short time later with two mugs of hot cocoa. They spend the rest of the evening reading and taking turns petting Miracle before going to bed in their own, perfect rooms.

Sam has no idea Dean is wishing he could find a way to suggest that they share a room tonight. Dean has no idea that Sam is thinking the same thing.

Chapter 2

The next morning, Sam is unsurprisingly awake before Dean. It's still dark out, but through the window, he can see the glow of what will surely be a beautiful sunrise. He checks his closet and, sure enough, there's a running suit waiting for him. He puts it on and looks at his nightstand. Smiling, he picks up the iPod lying there and turns to go downstairs. A quick run before Dean gets up sounds like a heaven of its own. He hasn't been able to run for decades now, and he misses it.

As he nearly skips down the stairs, he thinks maybe he should leave a note for Dean so his brother doesn't panic if he wakes to find Sam gone. That turns out not to be necessary. Dean's in the kitchen frying bacon and sausage. He's already fed Miracle and changed his water.

“I can't believe you're up this early,” Sam says as he enters the kitchen.

Dean smiles at his brother as he removes the pan from the burner. “Thought I'd make breakfast while you go on your run.”

“How did you know I would go for a run?” Sam asks smiling.

“Some things never change, little brother.”

“I would have waited for you to get up, but it's been a long time since my legs could handle a run. I was too excited to wait.”

“Go on now or breakfast will be cold when you get back. Take Miracle with you. He seems a bit stir crazy this morning.”

“He's stir crazy waiting for that bacon we all know you're going to slip to him.”

Dean laughs. “Who says I haven't already fed him bacon? And sausage?”

“Dean!”

“What? It's not like high cholesterol is gonna kill him now, is it?” Dean smirks.

Sam shakes his head, knowing he's beat on that one. “In that case, could you fry some extra for me?”

“Already have,” Dean grins. “Now go for your run.”

Dean finishes making breakfast while Sam is gone. He's just put it all in the oven to stay warm when there's a knock at the front door. Instinctively, he reaches for a weapon only to find none. He shakes his head as he realizes he doesn't need a weapon here and wonders if he will ever get used to that.

He walks to the front door to open it only to have a whirlwind blow by him and into the kitchen. She's setting a basket of fresh baked bread on the table when Dean finally catches up to her.

“Boy, did you really think I wouldn't come looking for you if you didn't come see me when you got here?” she demands as she turns a stern look on him.

“You are a sight for sore eyes, Missouri,” Dean says as he walks to her and embraces her in a tight hug which she happily returns.

She swats his arm when he lets her go. “You ain't answered my question, Dean Winchester.”

“We planned to visit everyone soon. We just haven't gotten used to not having to run and fight nearly every waking moment yet.”

Missouri smiles softly at that. “You boys didn't have the easiest life, did you?”

“No, ma'am, I guess we didn't.” Dean says.

“I don't think you have any idea how many people are waiting to see you two. They're all so proud of you and grateful to you for all you did. You kept fighting and made eternity worth living for.”

“We may have had a small part in that.”

“Small part my foot. You saved the world time and again. You saved Heaven when you saved Jack. You even saved hell when you befriended Rowena. Crowley wasn't quite cutthroat enough to keep all those devils in line, but his relationship with you helped Rowena's relationship with you. None of that would have happened without you boys. I don't exactly call that a small part.”

Dean pulls out a chair and offers Missouri a seat. “Can I get you some breakfast? Some coffee or something?”

“I'd love to have breakfast with you boys, but we'll wait until Sam is back from his run.”

“You're still just as psychic as ever, aren't you?”

“No, not really. I'm even better now.”

Dean sits down across from the larger-than-life woman after pouring them each a cup of coffee. “Missouri, why didn't you tell me? I could have helped you; we could have saved you.”

Missouri shakes her head. “You wouldn't have been able to save my granddaughter if you'd stayed back to save me. It happened how it had to happen.”

“Yeah, well, I don't believe that. We've fought and beat destiny and fate too many times to believe it's all set in stone.”

“Some things never change, Dean,” she says, using his earlier words to Sam against him, “and some things never can. You tried to save your mom from Azazel, but you couldn't. You wanted to save Sam from saying yes to Lucifer, but you couldn't. You couldn't have changed my death, either.”

“You didn't even give me a chance to try. Jody could have stayed with you, or you could have come with us. There had to be something.”

“Settle down, boy. It happened how it had to happen. You're in Heaven now. The past is over and done. Stop carrying guilt that doesn't belong to you.”

Dean stares down into his coffee cup. “That's easier said than done. I spent my whole life trying to save people. I could save strangers, but I never seemed to be able to save the people I care about most.”

“Is that why you're still hiding even though Sam's here? Because you think the people who want to see you hold a grudge that you couldn't save them?”

Dean hesitates, not knowing how to put his feelings into words.

“He's afraid that seeing them will bring back all the guilt he'd finally been able to let go,” Sam says from the kitchen doorway. “Hey, Missouri. It's good to see you.”

Missouri gets up and hugs Sam. Then they both sit at the table. Dean takes advantage of the interruption and starts setting the table for breakfast.

Sam continues his line of thought. “Dean spent his life feeling guilty, whether it was disappointing Dad, disappointing me, or not being able to save someone. It took him decades to be able to let that go. I can't blame him for not wanting to feel that again. I've felt it too many times myself .”

“It's long past time to let all of that go.”

Dean has everything on the table and sits back down. He motions to Missouri to help herself, and as she starts filling her plate, he says, “It's one thing to forgive yourself for your failures when they're behind you. It's different when you have to face them again. How do I look Ellen in the eye when I got her and her daughter killed?”

“You didn't get them killed, Dean Winchester. They chose their own path. It just so happened that the path they chose led them to do what they could to help you save people. Same with Bobby. Same with Rufus.” She takes Dean's hand in hers. “Same with me.”

Miracle walks over and rests his head on Dean's leg. Sam is the one who slips the dog a slice of bacon this time.

“That doesn't change what happened, Missouri,” Dean says. “It doesn't change the fact that even talking about it has me feeling guilty again.”

Missouri picks up her fork and scoops a bite of egg onto it. “I can't say I forgive you, Dean, because you've done nothing for me to forgive you for. Neither has Sam. You need to know that. You need to know that your future now is only as happy and as peaceful as you make it,” she says and then eats her eggs.

“Missouri,” Sam says with hesitantly, “was our dad there? In Lebanon when we were at our old house?”

“I didn't think you knew that, Sam.”

“I didn't, not really. I mean, I felt something I knew wasn't about the house. It was years later before I put it together that Dad was around.”

“Wait, Dad was there? Really?”

“He was afraid to get too close to you boys because the demon was following him. He didn't want to lead it to you if it wasn't what was in the house,” Missouri says. “But I promise you this, if it had been Azazel, your dad would have jumped right in to protect you boys. That's all he ever wanted to do. It wasn't just revenge he was after. He was always afraid the demon wanted to kill you boys that night too. He was fighting to save your lives as much as he was fighting to avenge your mother.”

Dean puts his cup down and stares out the window because he doesn't know what to do with this information. He sighs and looks back at Missouri. “Let the past go, right?”

“That's right, darlin'. Let the past go. You're in a different realm now with a new and different existence. The old rules no longer apply. Your new life, for lack of a more accurate word, is whatever you make it. You can be happier than you ever imagined, but you have to take the steps to get there.”

They have a pleasant visit after that. Missouri insists on helping clean up after breakfast. She catches them up on all the heavenly tricks such as changing location without actually traveling. It turns out they really don't need to eat, drink, or sleep, but they can indulge whenever they wish. If there's something they really want to know, like where exactly their parents live, they just need to think about it hard enough.

It's mid-morning when Missouri leaves. Sam goes to shower, and Dean is left with his thoughts. Things are starting to make sense now that hadn't when he was alive. “You even saved hell when you befriended Rowena.” Maybe that was true. If it was, then it still wouldn't have happened if he and Sam weren't the men they were when they'd met her. They wouldn't have been those men then if not for all that had happened up to that point, including losing the ones they loved.

“She got to you, huh?” Sam says as he comes back into the living room.

Dean startled at Sam's words, not realizing he'd been sitting in the same spot for so long. “Yeah, I guess she did.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“Before you got back from your run, Missouri said you and I saved Heaven when we saved Jack and that we saved hell when we befriended Rowena.”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, I can see that.”

“So you saved hell when you killed Rowena,” Dean says, “yet it broke your heart to have to do it.”

“Yeah, it did.” Sam agrees.

“You still feel guilty about that?” Dean asks.

Sam thinks for a moment before answering. “I feel bad that it had to happen that way, especially because I was the one who had to do it; but the alternative would have been worse. I don't feel guilty about doing what I had to do.”

“So I shouldn't feel guilty that Jo died to save me?”

“Jo made the choice to save you. She knew I had to face Lucifer and that I couldn't do that without you. Jo and Ellen didn't have to come with us, Dee. We weren't the last four hunters on the planet at the time.”

“Ellen hated Dad for a long time for getting Bill killed. How can she not hate me for getting her only child killed?”

“Ellen forgave Dad, and she knew if we didn't beat the devil that we'd all die anyway. She didn't blame you for Jo's death even then.”

“I wish I could be as sure of that as you seem to be.”

“You can be.”

“How?”

“Go see Ellen and Jo,” Sam says.

Dean nods. “But Mom and Dad first.”

Sam smiles. “You might want to get dressed then.”

Dean tosses a throw pillow at Sam's head as he leaves the room.

Chapter 3

Dean doesn't need to think very hard about it. Baby seems to know where to go all on her own. They park in front of a beautiful split-level ranch house with a large porch, a flower garden on one side, and a vegetable garden on the other side.

The brothers smile when Mary stands up from the vegetables and looks toward the car. She looks young and beautiful in the early afternoon sunlight. Mary smiles and calls for John as the boys get out of the Impala. She's hugging them both by the time John gets out the front door.

John pulls them in as soon as Mary lets go. Then he pulls her back to the three of them. They hug that way for a long time.

“I've missed you boys so much,” Mary says. “Come inside and sit down. John was just making lemonade if you want some.”

“Dad can make lemonade?” Sam asks in astonishment as he looks at John.

“You'll be surprised what I can do now that I'm not hunting demons,” John says with a smile.

They all go inside. The boys and their mom sit by the window as John goes to get the lemonade. He returns with a tray holding the pitcher and glasses. As the drinks are poured, John says, “You boys sure did us proud.”

“We just did what you taught us, Dad,” Sam says.

“You did what no one else could,” John says proudly. “You saved multiple universes from a psychotic god.”

Dean says, “We didn't do it alone. We had more help than we can name, especially you two.”

“All we did was train you,” John says.

“All we did was set it up for Jack to take Chuck's power,” Sam replies.

“You did more than that,” Mary adds. “Jack wouldn't be the being he is without the two of you.”

“You're the reason he remodeled Heaven,” John says. “Said he'd taken Mary from you but he was going to fix it so you'd never lose her again.”

“Really?” Dean asks in amazement as Sam smiles beside him.

“He said he owes his dads everything,” Mary grins. “He told us he put your cabin by a lake on fairly level ground so Dean can catch and cook fish whenever he wants and Sam can enjoy his morning runs.”

“Speaking of cooking,” John says, “Ellen and Bill want to throw an enormous cookout later this evening to welcome you boys home. Everyone is going to be there: Bobby, Rufus, Caleb, Pastor Jim, and a lot more dropping in and out.”

“Burgers and beer? Count me in.” Dean says with a snap of his head. “What do ya say, Sammy? I'm sure we can pick you some grass from out back or some leaves from nearby trees.”

Sam gives him what Dean has always labeled “Bitchface Number 3” – his acting-pissed-because-he-thinks-he-should face. “Jerk.”

“Bitch,” Dean says as he smirks at his baby brother.

“I'd love to see everyone,” Sam says to his dad, “especially since it means I can ignore your son for a few hours.”

“You love me,” Dean continues to tease Sam.

“Good thing for you or I'd have killed you myself when we were still teenagers.”

“Okay, boys, take it out in the yard if you're gonna keep it up,” John says laughingly.

“Not gonna happen,” Dean smirks. “Sammy Boy here is way too out of practice.”

Sam stands and walks to the door. With a flourish of his hand, he says, “Put your money where your mouth is, Dean. Loser does dishes for a week.”

Dean messes Sam's hair as he walks past him out the door, saying, “I'm not the one who hasn't fought in four decades.”

John and Mary follow the boys out and watch from the porch. Sam and Dean spend the first few swings getting their rhythm back, but it isn't long before they're full on sparring. They're not hitting full strength, but each one feels his brother's blows when they land. They're still too evenly matched even after all this time.

John leaps down and surprises Sam with a roundhouse kick to his right side. Before Sam can recover, Dean has their dad on the ground with a leg sweep.

They're all surprised then when Mary decides to slip in and flip Dean over her shoulder. It's become a free-for-all. No one is taking sides. It's just four former hunters sparring against each other for fun and bragging rights. The Winchester men can only shake their heads and laugh when Mary is the last one standing.

She laughs as she stands there with her hands on her hips. “So does this mean that each of you owes me a week of washing dishes?”

“I think we owe you a marble statue in the garden,” John says as he rubs his gut where she landed her last kick.

Mary laughs as she begins to help them to their feet.

“I'm not sure I can show my face anymore after the three of us getting whipped by Mom,” Sam grumbles. 

“I told you years ago what a badass she is,” Dean grins.

“She always was one tough broad,” John agreed.

“And don't you ever forget it,” Mary says as she walks into John's open arms.

Sam and Dean share a smile before Dean says, “We're going to this party this evening, but it's not exactly what I had in mind for tonight.”

“What were you thinking?” John asks.

“This,” Dean looks around. “Just this. The four of us lost so much time together. I don't want to miss any more.”

“You won't, son,” Mary says. “We have all the time that exists now. See everyone tonight. They've all been looking forward to it. Tomorrow night can be just the four of us getting to know each other like we missed out on when you were little. I promise you, I miss all of it, too.”

“So I guess showers are in order, huh?” Sam says.

“Nah,” Dean disagrees. He closes his eyes and concentrates. When he opens his eyes, he's no longer sweaty and stinky and wearing dirty clothes. He's clean, wearing fresh jeans and a Henley, and there's an amulet around his neck that he hasn't worn in years.

“Really?” Sam says as he reaches out and touches it. “The god locating amulet?”

“Nope,” Dean replies, popping the p because he knows it will still irritate Sam. “The gift from my baby brother that I never should have let out of my hands. Now get dressed, Sammy.”

Sam is smiling as he concentrates. He's instantly clean, dressed in ragged jeans and a purple t-shirt with a dog on it, and wearing the gel bracelets he was so fond of when he was younger.

“Really? You're not at Stanford anymore,” Dean taunts.

“It's comfortable,” Sam replies.

“You look like a washed up college professor trolling for co-eds to make himself feel young again.”

Sam rolls his eyes and gives Dean the finger.

Mary looks at John. “Were they always like this?”

“Every minute of every day.”

“Were not,” Sam and Dean replied in unison, making their parents laugh almost uncontrollably.

John and Mary clean themselves up. John is wearing khaki pants, a black polo shirt and black sneakers. Mary is wearing a light pink sundress and white sandals. Her hair is up in a messy bun and her makeup is perfect. “Ready to go?” John asks everyone.

“Almost,” Dean says as he stares at Baby in concentration. They hear a bark from the other side of the car before Miracle comes trotting around it to them. “Now we're ready.”

The family heads off walking down the road to the Roadhouse.

Chapter 4

Dean looks around in awe and gratitude. There are so many faces he's fond of and zero anger that he can detect. Maybe it is time to let it all go. There by the food in front of the bar door is his dad talking to Bill and Ellen with not a trace of resentment to be seen. Bobby and Rufus are good-naturedly arguing over how much longer to cook the current batch of burgers on the grill, the only hostility being that of two good friends having a go at each other for fun. Miracle and several other pups are running around getting food and pets from anyone who will pay him attention.

Adam and his mother had stopped by. They had long since made peace with John and Mary. They came today to tell Sam and Dean that they held no grudge. “If not for the two of you, I might never have seen my mom again. If anything, I should thank you,” Adam had said.

Sarah Blake had dropped by to tell Sam she was glad he'd lived a long, happy life and wasn't angry that he hadn't been able to save her from Crowley. Layla Rourke had stopped in to tell Dean she was grateful that he and Sam had stopped someone else from dying in her place when the faith healer's wife had been controlling a reaper. Dozens, maybe hundreds, have done the same. 

The civilians come, eat, say thanks, and leave. The hunters all seem to be staying. Annie is flirting with Bobby every chance she gets, but Dean hasn't seen one sign of Karen. He wants to ask Bobby about that, but he figures the old man will tell him if he wants him to know.

Annie has competition; Jody will not stay away from Bobby for too long - another thing he and Rufus are happily arguing about. Just as Dean is about to seek out his brother to discuss some surprising revelations he's noticed, he sees Jessica Moore heading for Sam - it's obvious she has eyes only for him.

Sam lights up at the sight of her. They stroll away around the corner of the Roadhouse. It takes all Dean's control not to lose everything he ate right there as the day suddenly seems dimmer.

“He'll be back before long,” Bobby says from beside him. “Gotta let the boy tell her he's sorry he thinks he got her killed.”

“It's Heaven, Bobby,” Dean says without looking at his surrogate father, fighting with all his might to keep the emotion out of his voice, “and she was the love of his life. He'll be MIA for a while, then he'll show up tonight to tell me he's moving in with her.”

“You idjit. Do you really think she's the love of his life? Damn, boy, I thought you was smarter than that.”

Dean can't take this conversation so he changes his mind about his earlier decision. “Where's Karen? I wanted to thank her for not trying to kill you again when Lilith brought her back.”

“We gave it a shot, but she just couldn't get me killing her out of her head. She moved across the realm with her childhood sweetheart.”

“I'm sorry, Bobby.”

“Life goes on, as they say. Didn't hurt like it would have before 'cause I done got used to living without her. We ain't all got soulmates.”

“So who's the next Mrs. Bobby Singer? Annie or Jody?”

“Don't you start that mess, too. I get enough of it from Rufus,” Bobby grumbles.

“Well, who is it?”

Bobby shakes his head. “I don't rightly know. I really like Jody, I mean, a lot, but she's still waiting for her girls. She'll be more focused on them when they arrive, as she should be.”

They both take a swallow of beer. “Annie, though, she's almost as alone as I am. We'd make a good match.”

“You ain't alone, old man. Not with me and Sam here. Plus, you got Rufus and Dad.”

“”None of you are my type, but thank you for the thought,” Bobby says dryly. 

Dean chuckles. “You know, when those girls get here, you're gonna be as focused on them as Jody is.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Oh, maybe the fact that you practically raised me and Sam. You were meant to be a father, old man. If Jody makes you happy, then go for it.”

“You're lucky you don't have to deal with finding someone here,” Bobby says.

“What do you mean? I'm as alone as you are.”

“Soulmates ain't never alone, Dean. Ain't you figured that out yet?”

Before Dean can reply, Sam comes up to them with another beer for each. “Hey, Bobby. I see you got your fan club up and running,” he says with a grin as he hugs the old man.

“Oh, shut up, you. And to think I was looking forward to you idjits gettin' here,” Bobby grumbles and walks away.

“I saw Jessica. You two hooking back up?” Dean asks casually.

“Nah. She's living across the mountains with her soulmate. She just came by to tell me I shouldn't feel bad about her death because she's been happy since she got here. Seems he had been killed in a car crash a few weeks before their paths would have crossed in life.”

Joy for himself and sadness for Sam fought for dominance inside Dean. “I'm sorry, man. I thought for sure you two would get together.”

Sam just stares at Dean. “You still don't get it. I'm where I'm supposed to be. I'm with the one I'm supposed to be with. I'm not going anywhere, not unless we go together.”

Dean took a swig of his beer to cover swallowing the lump in his throat and give him time to think of a change of subject. “People keep acting like we did them a favor by not saving them,” he mused.

“Look around, Dee. Maybe we did.” Dean looks around as Sam continues. “There's not one pissed off person here. No one is crying. No one is even sad, except for you. What's wrong, Dee?”

Dean shrugs. “Little trouble adjusting, I guess. How do you let go of forty years of responsibility in the blink of an eye?”

Sam puts his hand on his brother's shoulder, his eyes turn compassionate as he realizes that Dean had died suddenly and unexpectedly whereas Sam had died after years of waiting to see his brother again. “You accept that you accomplished everything you set out to do. You saved so many people. You fought and won so many battles with evil. But your primary mission in life was always to protect me. You did that, Dee. You did that, and now you no longer have to protect me. There's nothing to protect me from anymore. You're done. We're done. It's time to enjoy the peace we earned.”

“I have to admit that I wasn't always sure we'd get here,” Dean says quietly.

“Well, we did. The fight is over, big brother. We are surrounded by friends and family. We have forever to enjoy that. We finally have the time to enjoy just being. We finally have peace.”

Dean says nothing, but Sam sees that one tear about to fall from his brother's eye. He can't take seeing that right now so he pulls his brother into a hug.

Dean hugs him back tightly for a moment. Then he pulls back and grumbles, “Another damn chick flick moment, bitch.”

Sam grins as he responds, “Jerk.”

The boys get back to the party after that. It seems like it just started, yet it also seems like it's been going for days. Dean's loving spending this time with friends and family. A few hours later, he smiles as he nudges Sam's shoulder. When he has Sam's attention, he directs it toward the road where Bobby and Jody are leaving together arm in arm.

“It's about time,” Sam says. 

Dean wholeheartedly agrees. “Better late than never, huh?”

“I'll drink to that,” Sam says, and the brothers clink their bottles together. “You about ready to go?”

“Yeah, about. Where's Miracle?”

Sam points toward the Roadhouse. “He's on the porch in a food coma and getting cuddles and pets from Ash and Ellen. I haven't seen Mom and Dad recently, though.”

“They went down to the creek with Bill for a shooting contest. Somehow Mom convinced Dad and Bill she could be an objective judge.”

“I'm not surprised at that given the ass kicking she gave us earlier.”

“Right? It really was in our blood.”

“Which is weird because we don't have the bloodline anymore yet we're still damn good fighters.”

“Huh?”

“We're spirits now. We choose to be corporeal, but we don't have the bodies we did in life. Genetically, you and I aren't related anymore. We don't have a connection through DNA, just through our memories and our souls.”

“Careful, Sammy,” Dean says teasingly. “Someone hears you talking like that, they're gonna think we're sleeping together since we share a house.”

“I'm surprised you weren't sleeping together when you were alive.”

“Excuse me?” Dean says as he whips around to see Jo with her hands on her hips.

“Everybody knew about you two for years, how you were raised with just each other to turn to, and how you would sacrifice nearly anything or anyone to save each other. Well...you were never exactly normal siblings.”

“Name one hunter you've ever known or known of that was normal,” Dean demands.

“None. But even hunters have their own level of normality. You two didn't fit that either. I'm not trying to insult you. You saved the world again and again because you would never give up on each other. Your codependency wasn't a bad thing,” the sassy blonde says.

“And Sam's right. Things are different here,” she continues. “You boys love each other beyond what any two humans ever have. It's always been there for anyone and everyone to see. If you take things to the next level now, no one will judge you. No one will think anything about it. It's not wrong here, you know? Especially not for soulmates.”

“We're brothers,” Dean says for what feels like the millionth time since he was a teenager.

“Not here,” Jo smirks. “Sam just explained that to you.”

“Even if you are right that we want to jump each other's non-existent bones, and I'm not saying you are because you're not, our entire relationship is based on being brothers. That doesn't change just because I got snagged on a piece of rebar and Sam lived forty years without me.”

“I only knew you for a short time as adults,” Mary says from behind them, “but even I could tell that brotherhood was only the beginning of your relationship. The basis was that you were best friends, each the most important person in the other's life. Developing an intimate relationship isn't that far of a stretch.”

“Mom!” Dean exclaims.

“Don't get me wrong, I would have been horrified by the thought when we were alive, but Jo's right that things are different here.”

Dean throws his hands up in the air and starts pacing. “I cannot believe what I'm hearing.”

“Is it so odd?” Sam asks. When Dean spins on his heel to glare at him, Sam continues, “I went to college to experience a normal life. That's the truth. But part of that truth that I never elaborated on is that part of the normal I wanted was to not see my brother die on a hunt. That ended up happening anyway, but at least I had grown enough to survive it because you asked me to. I could never have survived it back then. I just couldn't stick around and watch you get yourself killed.”

“Then why did you hit the road with me when I asked you to?” Dean asks, frozen in his tracks.

“Because I missed you. I told the woman in white that she couldn't kill me because I wasn't unfaithful. She said I would be. I really already was. I loved Jess, but I have always loved you more. I put you first even then, Dee.”

“What are you saying, Sam? What exactly are you saying?” Dean demands.

“I'm saying things are clearer to me now, even my own feelings. Chuck said we were his favorite Sam and Dean. I'm betting we were the only ones he made soulmates, the only ones who cared about each other more than anything else, the only ones who loved each other too much to follow his script.”

Sam takes a step closer to Dean, moving slowly because Dean looks ready to bolt like a rabbit. “I'm saying I understand why people were always mistaking us for a couple.” Another slow step until he is in Dean's personal space, right where he's always been. “I'm saying I'm in love with you, and I think I always have been.”

“Sammy,” Dean begins to speak.

“Shut up, Dee. If you're planning to say anything that's meant to protect me, just shut up. I told you, there's nothing here I need to be protected from. I love you. I'm in love with you. So unless you really, truly do not feel the same way, do not say a word.”

Dean's visibly shaking. He stutters, “I...I gotta go.” He takes off at a brisk walk down the road without looking back.

Sam can't watch him go. He stands there staring down at the ground between his feet.

Jo steps up beside him and says softly, “I'm so sorry, Sam. I shouldn't have pushed. I just thought he would see it.”

“It's not your fault, Jo.”

Mary puts her arm around Sam's waist. “It'll be okay, Sammy.”

“Listen,” Sam says, “thank Ellen and Bill for us and give everyone our love. I'm, uh, I'm not good company right now, so I'm going to take off.” He whistles for Miracle, and the dog jumps up and comes running. Sam and the dog walk in the opposite direction Dean went, Sam dragging his feet along the way.

Once he was away from people, Sam began talking to the dog. “I need to be somewhere that I feel close to him, you know? But I know he needs some space so I can't go somewhere he might be. You got any ideas, pal?”

Miracle looks up at Sam and whines in sympathy. “Yeah, me either.” But then Miracle grabs the leg of Sam's jeans in his jaws and pulls to Sam's right. “You do have an idea, huh, boy?”

Sam follows Miracle off the path and up a narrow trail through old trees and deep shadow. He has no idea where the trail leads, but he trusts the dog. He's beginning to doubt his decision when, at last, they exit the trees and he discovers that they're at the top of the mountain closest to the cabin he and Dean share. He walks over to the edge and looks out across the beautiful vista.

The sky is still a bright, vibrant blue with wispy white clouds floating above him. The sea of greens formed by tree leaves seem to preen proudly. A warm breeze moves across the sapphire blue lake below causing the ripples to reflect the sunlight like sparkling diamonds. 

Then he sees him. Dean is sitting beside the lake drinking a beer. His legs are crossed, his shoulders are slumped, and his head bowed. The sight causes tears to spring to Sam's eyes. He hates that he caused Dean this pain and wants so desperately to take it away. 

But all he can do is wait. He turns away from the edge of the mountain and goes to sit on the ground with his back against a tree. Miracle comes and puts his head on Sam's leg.

Sam pets the dog, grateful for the company, but says, “Maybe you should be with Dean, huh? He doesn't need to be alone right now. He'd probably welcome you with open arms. Go take care of Dean for me, okay?”

Miracle licks Sam's hand and walks back into the trees. Sam leans his head back on the tree wondering why he had confessed his feelings to his brother in front of their mom like that. No wonder had Dean bolted.

Sam hears Miracle bark from below. The sound of Dean playing with the dog is just reassuring enough that Sam is able to gather the strength to head back down the trail and go slowly back ho...back to the cabin. Home is down there by the lake with Miracle.

Chapter 5

Dean isn't sure how long he's been here by the lake. When Miracle appeared earlier, he had surprised Dean. That was quite a while ago. Still, he has no friggin' idea what to think or how to feel. All he's ever wanted was to have Sam in his life. Sam has always been the most important person in the world to Dean. He never had, and never would, love anyone more.

“I stayed with him when Sammy was infected with Croatoan,” Dean tells Miracle. “I sold my soul to hell to save his life. I tricked him into letting an angel possess him in order to save his life. There's nothing I wouldn't do for Sam. He's my brother.”

Miracle paws at Dean's arm asking for pets. Dean pets the dog as he continues talking to him, “But I have another brother, well, a half-brother. Would I do the same for Adam? After all, he's family too. But I chose Sam without hesitation when Death told me I could only save one. I mean, I didn't even think. I just chose Sammy. Then again, I didn't raise Adam; didn't even know him when he was alive.”

Miracle walks to a tree, picks up a stick, and brings it back. He drops it at Dean's hand and looks at Dean expectantly. Dean smiles as he throws the stick for the dog to fetch.

Miracle brings the stick back. Dean takes it and gives the dog a good scratch before asking, “Is there another reason I've always gone so far for Sam?”

Miracle barks in response. Dean throws the stick again for the dog to chase. He thinks up another beer and gulps down half. He hates that it takes drinking so much more to get drunk now. He really doesn't want to be sober at the moment because being sober means facing the fact that maybe he does have some inappropriate, deeper feelings for his brother, and that maybe he had buried them deeper than hell. If that's true, how does he let them into the light now? How will Sammy feel knowing the real reason Dean had always done so much to protect and save him? 

“Yet, Sam did some fairly insane things to save me, too. Now he admits he's in love with me, in front of our Mom,” Dean says to Miracle as he pets the pup before throwing the stick again.

Miracle retrieves the stick and brings it back. He drops it just beyond Dean's reach. He sits and cocks his head to one side and stares at Dean.

“You think I'm a dumbass, don't you?” he asks the dog.

Miracle barks once and gets up, walking back down the path toward the road home. Dean chuckles when the smartass dog doesn't even look back to see if Dean's following him. He briefly considers that it may be Sam in disguise but quickly forgets that idea because, really, Sam is much more direct.

Dean decides it's time for him to be direct too. He gets up and follows Miracle home.

The sky has changed from a bright mid-day light to that of the beginning of a marvelous sunset. Its just dark enough for lights to be needed inside, but there are none. Dean begins to wonder if Sam is even here, but Miracle walks confidently right up to the door. Dean follows and lets the dog in before entering himself.

Miracle walks straight through the cabin to the back porch. Sam is sitting out there staring up at the mountain. Miracle goes to his bed and settles down as Dean grabs a couple of bottles of beer before joining his brother on the steps. They don't speak. They drink and watch the changing sky until the only light is from the stars.

“I'm sorry I ran off like that,” Dean says softly.

“It's okay. I understand. I get that you don't feel the same.”

“Sammy, please, let me get this out, okay? It's not that I don't feel the same. I do. I realize now that I always did. That's the real reason I could never live without you. I would never have said anything even if I had realized what I really felt for you. I would never have put you in such a position. It was always my job, my life, to protect you and keep you safe and sound. Not because Dad said so, but because that's just how it was from the time I first laid eyes on your baby face.

“I don't think any of us ever told you about the time Mom and Dad were arguing and you were crying for a bottle. Mom was getting it ready, but it was taking longer than usual because of the argument. I was too young to make it for you so I did what I could do. I climbed into your crib with you, patted your belly, and sang 'Hey, Jude.' It was the only song I knew when I was four.”

Dean takes a swallow of beer, pretending not to notice how Sam is staring at him in surprise. Then he keeps talking, “I just couldn't deal with you being hungry or upset. Most four-year-old kids would have run from a crying baby, but all I could think about was calming you down. The night of the fire, Dad jokingly asked if I thought you were ready to toss a ball around. I laughed and said no, all the while thinking that if he tried to toss a ball with you yet, I'd punch him between the legs because I'd seen that hurt him before when I did it accidentally.”

A half gasp, half chuckle comes from Sam then, but he doesn't say anything.

“My point is, that's who I am. I'm Sam Winchester's big brother and protector. That's who I've always been. I don't know how to let that go. I don't know how to give in to the feelings I spent four decades keeping under lock and key, hiding them from even myself.”

Dean falls silent and just stares at the stars. Sam finally speaks. “Okay, now I really do understand. I spent four decades living without you, four decades waiting, wanting, fighting the urge to rush things along. I was ready for death, ready for a new existence. So it's not that difficult for me to get used to the new reality we live in.

“But it's different for you. You've been here longer, but you stayed to yourself waiting for me. And it wasn't a gradual change for you. You were yanked away from life into a new existence in one horrible moment. It's no wonder you're having issues with the changes we face now. You never liked change anyway.

“I'm more than willing to wait and help you adjust, but you have to see the differences between then and now and choose now. Like Missouri said, you have to let go of the past. There are only two real differences - you don't need to protect me and we can act on what we've always felt for each other.”

For the first time since he sat down beside him, Dean turns to look at Sam. “You'd be okay with that? With waiting?”

“Why wouldn't I? Weren't you okay with waiting for me to realize that hunting was my life?”

Dean bumps Sam's shoulder with his own. “I knew you'd come around.”

Sam bumps back. “Just like I know you'll come around now.”

“So that's why you were out here pouting when I got home?” Dean teases.

Bitchface Number Five – the why-is-my-brother-so-dumb face. Score, Dean grins.

“I wasn't pouting, jerk. I was worried about you. In case you never noticed, I hate it when you're hurting, too.”

Dean smiles as he looks back at the stars. “I love you so much, baby brother.”

“I love you, too, Dee.” Sam leans against Dean's shoulder and looks up at the most beautiful night sky they've ever sat under. Now they both feel at peace.

Chapter 6

They sleep in the same bed for the first time in ages. Dean is almost expecting an awkward-morning-after feeling even though nothing happened other than Sam sleeping in his arms. It's kind of disconcerting that everything still feels, well, normal. He showers and goes down to make breakfast as Sam is heading out with Miracle for a run.

When Sam gets back and they sit down to eat, it still feels perfectly normal, perfectly right. It's planning for the day, brotherly banter, and arguing over who's cleaning what. 

“I cooked so you can do the dishes,” Dean says.

“Fine, you can clean the living room.”

“That's your mess in there. Besides, I'm making the bed and cleaning the shower.”

“Why are you going to clean the shower before I even get one?”

“You should have taken a shower when you got back.”

“I was hungry, and breakfast was waiting.”

“It's not my fault you're still a health freak when you don't have to be. Your run could have waited until later.”

In the end, Sam throws a dishtowel at Dean, and Dean throws a set of clean sheets at Sam. They end up wrestling on the floor. Suddenly Dean has the upper hand and is sitting on top of Sam. “Yep. I was right yesterday. You're out of practice.”

Sam flips them easily and ends up lying on top of Dean. Dean thinks about saying “Maybe not,” but before he can start to form the words, Sam is leaning down and kissing his lips softly.

Dean freezes at first, but Sam is patient. He keeps his lips on Dean's but doesn't push for more. Dean slowly responds and returns the kiss. Sam doesn't let it deepen or turn passionate, though it easily could have. He stands and gives Dean a hand getting up. He says nothing but smiles softly as he turns to the sink and begins washing dishes.

Dean makes the bed and straightens the living room. He cleans the bathroom after Sam showers. Sam starts the laundry after his shower and sweeps the porch.

They go fishing at the lake early that afternoon, Miracle joining them. Dean catches the biggest catfish he's ever landed. Sam expects to be cooking it the next afternoon since they're eating with John and Mary tonight, but Dean surprises him and returns the fish to the lake.

“Catch and release? Really? I'm surprised.”

“I'd keep it if we were having fish tonight. I'm just enjoying a stress-free afternoon with my favorite person today.”

Sam blushes. “A little we-time?”

“We've sure as hell earned it,” Dean says.

Dean has his hook baited again and casts his line back in the water. “I need to ask you something, Sammy.”

“Okay, go ahead.”

“When I died, did you, and I'm not gonna be angry either way, but did you really not try to bring me back?”

Sam sighs and lowers his head. “I called Rowena. She came. She told me she would do it, but she couldn't do it without a heavy price to power the magic. I almost agreed, but she and I talked. She helped me realize that with Chuck out of the way, there was nothing to keep us apart after I died. Nothing except making a deal to bring you back, that is. And I knew that's exactly what you didn't want when you asked me not to find a way.”

“Bet she was gloating, huh? You kill her and then lose your big brother?”

“Just the opposite. She wanted to help but there's nothing strong enough for a resurrection except blood to blood or a soul. If she could have done it without it costing me my life or my soul, she would have.”

“Guess she really is the right ruler for hell.”

“She's the right substitute.”

“Substitute? Then who's supposed to be ruling hell?”

“Me.”

“What?” Dean asked in disbelief.

“Remember I told you about the trap at that bar a while back? Me, Mom, the other Bobby, and some other hunters trying to save Cass from a demon that wanted our endorsement to become king of hell?”

Dean nods and says, “Yeah, when y'all kicked ass against a couple dozen demons.”

Sam says, “I declared there would be no new king of hell and that any demon wanting the throne would have to come through me. Turns out I unknowingly claimed my rightful throne as the boy king. Letting Rowena keep the throne after finding out she was ruling hell - that was my abdication that allowed me to enter Heaven.”

“So if you had made the deal for me and gone to hell...”

“It would have eventually led to a war between Rowena and me for the throne, a war that would have spilled over onto Earth.”

Dean nodded. “Guess I was right that trying to bring me back would end badly.”

“You're not angry? Really?”

“Of course not. It might have been different if Chuck was still around or Rowena was letting demons run wild. But I knew you were safe. I knew in my gut it was time for me to go and let you live.”

“Would you have been angry if I hadn't tried?”

“No, I didn't want you to. I only asked because I was curious.”

“You asked because you need to know if I loved you enough to keep my promise.”

“I asked because I needed to know if you really were okay after I left you. Knowing that you didn't put yourself in danger means the world to me, Sammy.”

“I almost did.”

“No, you didn't. You just had to see if you could do it risk free. You wouldn't have forgiven yourself if you hadn't done that.”

Sam's line jerks. He pulls in a huge bass. Dean helps him get the hook out. They proudly check him over and return him to the water. Miracle barks at the bass as it swims away.

They go back to the cabin around mid-afternoon. Sam wills himself clean and dressed for dinner with their parents. Dean prefers feeling water flow over his body so he actually takes a shower. Sam and Miracle settle on the couch, Sam reading a book.

Eventually, Sam goes up to see what's taking Dean so long. Dean's sitting dressed and ready on the bed in their room. He's just staring into space. “What's taking you so long?”

Dean shakes his head. “I don't know if I can do this.”

“What? It's just dinner with Mom and Dad.”

“Dad looked at me with so much disappointment that night I left you alone and the shtriga attacked you. I can't imagine how he's going to look at me now knowing that I, that I...”

Sam sits beside Dean and takes his hand. “Mom was encouraging us yesterday, remember?”

“Mom didn't raise us. Dad did. Mom didn't know us as teenagers or go hunting and trust me to protect you. Dad did.”

“You don't think Mom and Dad have talked about this?”

“I doubt they've ever even thought about it.”

“We'll never know if we don't ask. Dad has forgiven me for every cruel and angry thing I ever said to him. I doubt this is going to turn him against us.”

“Are you kidding? This is huge. This is monumental. This is...”

“Love. This is love, Dee. I honestly don't think Dad is going to begrudge us that. We've earned this with all we've been through.”

Sam stands and pulls Dean up with him. “Let's go to dinner.”

Dean allows Sam to lead him to what feels like his execution.

Mary and John are just as happy to see them as they were yesterday. They had decided to make this a real family experience and hadn't started cooking so the boys can help out in the kitchen. It's an interesting experience. Mary had kicked their asses at sparring, but they are the ones teaching her how to cook.

John is preparing the bread for baking; Dean is preparing the catfish fillets with lemon pepper to bake; Sam is preparing to steam fresh broccoli and cauliflower; and Mary is cutting up lettuce, tomatoes, and carrots for a salad.

It's an amazing experience. Dean never wants it to end, but he knows the discussion is coming later. He steels himself and puts it out of his mind for now.

When the food is done, John and Dean get it ready to serve while Mary and Sam set the table. John brings out the perfect beer to go with the meal, and the Winchesters dig in.

There's small talk and laughter. The sadness and pain are left out of the discussion. Near the end of the meal, Mary takes a sip of beer to wash her food down and says, “What was Chuck really like? Aside from being a psycho, I mean.”

“He was posing as a second-rate writer when we met him. The angels didn't even know who he really was. They thought he was a prophet. He was a weak, frightened little turd,” Dean says.

“When he finally told us who he really was, he got a bit cocky and arrogant, but he still came across like someone who cared about people. Then, after Jack was born, he showed his true colors,” Sam added.

John shakes his head, “I never thought in all my years of hunting that God might be at all interested in what happened on Earth.”

“Didn't you tell me he helped stop the apocalypse?” Mary asks.

“Yeah, he told me where the final battle between Michael and Lucifer would take place.”

“If Dean hadn't been there,” Sam says, “I would never have found the strength to regain control of Lucifer and take him into the pit.” 

“So he helps you fight his story, then gets pissed because you keep fighting his story,” John realizes.

Dean nods. “That pretty much sums it up.”

“Kind of made me miss hunting Yellow Eyes,” Sam adds.

“I still can't believe what I got you boys into,” Mary says.

“It wasn't you, Mom. It was always Chuck,” Dean reassures her.

“I think you were right, Sam. I think it was because he made you two soulmates that allowed you to beat him.”

Dean quickly changes the subject. “Did Chuck die yet?”

John laughs, “That's not going to happen any time soon. Jack said he's gonna let him stew alone for a few centuries before sending him to Rowena. And, Dean, you didn't have to change the direction of the conversation. I spent a few years with Alistair in hell, remember. I've known you two are soulmates longer than you have.”

Dean sits staring at his mostly-empty plate. Sam looks at John and leans his head toward Dean.

“Dean,” John says calmly, “I hated it. I swore that bastard demon was lying to me. I wouldn't accept it. Then I saw what you did for Sam. Selling your soul like I did? That's something a parent would do for a child, but for a sibling? I couldn't deny it then, but I still hated it. Not because of what could happen between the two of you, but that it meant you'd never have a happy life apart from each other, never have normal.”

Dean's head dipped lower.

“But, Dean,” John continued, “it changed when I got to Heaven. I've seen other soulmates here, with and without their other half. Those who are together are happier than anything I could ever have imagined. Those still waiting to be reunited with their other half are just, well, shells waiting to be filled. You and Sam are happy. Even a blind man can see that. How could I hate my sons being so happy?”

“Even if our relationship evolves into having sex with each other?” Sam asks brazenly.

With a gasp, Dean jerks his head up to gape at Sam across the table. “Sammy,” he growls in warning.

John chuckles. “Well, hell, son, that will just make things better.”

Now Dean's head whips to his right and he gapes at John.

He hears Mary snicker to his left. “See, Dean, Jo was right. No one, absolutely no one, expects anything less. Bobby and Karen split even though they love each other. Now Bobby's hooked up with Jody. Relationships don't get bad here. They end kindly, on good terms. But soulmates are together forever.”

Dean is still staring at his father in shock. He finally manages to speak, “I thought you'd rip me a new one for having thoughts like that about my own brother.” 

“Oh, I would have killed you way back when,” John says. “Things like that just don't matter anymore, Dean. The laws people had to obey aren't needed here. There's plenty for everyone so stealing isn't necessary. Everyone loves everyone else so killing isn't an issue. Bloodlines are an essential part of replenishing Earth, but they don't exist here – they don't need to – so societal norms regarding relationships are a moot point.”

“Why are you having trouble with this, sweetheart?” Mary asks her older son.

“Honestly? Because three days ago I was fighting vampires with my brother and watching his back. Now, I suddenly have zero responsibility to hunt things or save people, and my brother's telling me he loves me,” Dean says getting louder as he speaks. He takes a deep breath and calms himself. “I'm sorry. I just ain't used to things yet, I guess.”

Mary says softly, “When I got here the first time, I was in a loop of memories of my husband and my baby boys. When I got back, the angels allowed me to be with John so the two of you would leave us here in peace. Then, out of the blue, all of Heaven was opened to me, and I'm happier than I ever thought possible.”

Mary notices him shaking and places her hand gently on Dean's arm. She continues, “But you, my sweet baby boy, you got jerked out of everything you know, and away from your brother. It's understandable you need time to adjust.”

“That's what I told him,” Sam says. “I hadn't thought about you and Dad maybe feeling the same after Jack's changes, but I get why Dean's uncertain. I lived a full life longing to be with Dean again. I was ready for the transition. I can't imagine being thrust into it so abruptly. The thing is, we don't have to rush. We have forever now.”

Dean looks at Sam with watery eyes. “What if I can't get there, Sammy? What if I can never touch you and hold you the way you want?”

Sam holds his left hand out to Dean and smiles when Dean automatically takes it with his own right hand. “You just did. Hold my hand once in a while, hug me once in a while, maybe even kiss my head or my cheek. That's all I need, Dee. I need you beside me; I want what you can give me. That's all.”

Dean runs his left hand down his face as he squeezes Sam's hand with his right. He looks Sam in the eyes as he says, “All I know for certain is that you are the most important person to me. You always have been and always will be.”

“I know,” Sam says with a smile. 

“Time for dessert,” John says. He gets up and starts clearing plates.

“I'll help,” Mary says and does the same.

“Are you sure about this, Sammy?” Dean asks when their parents have entered the kitchen.

“I've never been more sure about anything in my life, Dean,” Sam replies.

Dean nods and surprises his brother with a kiss to his hand.

“Time for pie,” Mary and John say in unison when they reenter the dining room.

“Finally, someone remembers the pie!” Dean exclaims as he gives Sam a childlike grin.

Weekly dinners with their parents become a regular thing. After eating, the four will play board games, play card games, or tell tall tales about hunts they've gone on. Occasionally, dinner will be at the boys' cabin. From time to time, Bobby, Adam, the Harvelles, or another hunter will join them.

Roadhouse cookouts become nearly as routine and always receive guests from across Heaven. Fun and hilarity are never in short supply at the cookouts. There's always enough food, even leftovers for those who want to take some home. There's never an argument that isn't in jest. There is always, always love in abundance.

Sam and Dean never quite settle into a routine of their own other than dinners and cookouts. They spend their days doing whatever occurs to them. They travel to see Heaven's versions of things they missed on Earth; the Grand Canyon, Mt. Everest, and the Eiffel Tower, to name a few. They go see concerts. They see whatever movie they want when they can agree on which movie to watch. They read all the books in which they're interested. They ride in Baby and listen to music. They play in the yard with Miracle.

They never sleep in separate beds again. They slowly move from sleeping in pajamas to sleeping in underwear to sleeping naked. Even more slowly, they move from kisses goodnight to making out for hours to exploring each others bodies in ways they never before thought they would.

Chapter 7

It's been sixty years on Earth since Sam died. His son Dean finally lets go, ready to go see his dad and meet his Uncle Dean. He closes his eyes and takes his last breath as his kids, grand kids, and great-grand kids surround his bed. 

He opens his eyes to see an old, nearly dilapidated building with a sign reading Harvelle's Roadhouse above the door. There are dozens of people running around eating, drinking, talking, and playing games. It reminds him of a large family reunion. He feels, rather than hears, someone step up behind him.

“You're definitely a Winchester with an ass like that.”

The younger Dean spins around to see an attractive woman dressed in black boots, skin-tight black jeans, and a black AC/DC halter top. Her long, dark curls frame her face and highlight eyes that seem to see inside his soul. He gapes at her, still not sure what is happening.

“Come on, kiddo,” she says. “Your family is inside with Bill getting the next batch of ribs ready.

Dean follows the woman he believes is Pamela Barnes inside, and they see three men rubbing a mixture of dry seasoning all over three dozen slabs of baby ribs. One man he doesn't know at all, doesn't even remember a vague description that would explain who he is. The second man, the one currently bitching that his hands can be put to much better use than seasoning cow meat, can be no one other than his dad's brother that he himself is named after: Dean Winchester. 

A closer look at the third man nearly floors young Dean. It's his dad. There's no doubt about it, but Dean has never seen his dad look so young or happy, especially when he leans over and kisses Uncle Dean on the lips. He watches as the kiss quickly deepens passionately.

“You two start that and these ribs will never get done,” the first man says.

“You're gonna be on your own with them anyway,” the brunette beside young Dean says.

“What are you going on about now, Pamela?” the first man is asking even as Sam has left the other two and is coming straight for him.

“Dean!” Sam says as he wraps his son into a big, warm hug.

“I missed you so much, Dad,” Dean says, holding on tightly to his father.

The second man, Uncle Dean he's sure now, slaps him on his shoulder and says, “Welcome home, kid. It's good to see you.”

“Uncle Dean, I've been waiting to meet you all my life.” then Dean embraces Dean, and they hug just as long and hard as Dean and his father had.

Pamela nudges Sam's arm, “You did a good job, Sam. He's a good man.”

“He saw me kiss Dean, didn't he?” Sam asks her.

“Yep, and didn't blink twice,” she smiles. “Since you and Dean are abandoning him, I'm gonna help Bill with the ribs. Take your kid to meet his grandparents. And send Bobby in, would ya? Ash'll do if you happen on him first.”

“You got it.”

Sam and Dean lead Dean back outside. They introduce him to a couple of people they pass, people young Dean had grown up hearing about. But it was meeting his grandparents that took his breath away. They looked as young, healthy, and beautiful as they did in the portrait Dad had kept in his living room. 

Grandpa John hugged him then pulled back, leaving his hand on Dean's shoulder. “I'm proud of you kid.”

“Thank you, sir, but for what?” young Dean asks.

“You took over the Men of Letters without hesitation. You carried on our family line and the family business.”

“No need to thank me for that. I wanted to do it. It's an odd business, unbelievable really, but it's important work, and I'm proud to have been a part of it.”

The cookout goes on in cheerful chaos. He meets people and hears stories he'd never imagined. And he loves every second of it. This reward was worth the work of helping hunters for most of his life, even though his dad had wanted more for him. The sun is starting to set as someone pulls out a guitar and everyone sits around singing. Young Dean slips off for a moment to himself.

He happens across someone else sitting alone on a log by the water's edge. The figure is difficult to identify in the shadows but it's the unmistakable deep timber of Dean Winchester's voice that reaches his ears, “Yeah, I get it. I need a moment to myself now and then too. Come on over and have a seat, kid.”

He rolls his eyes as he sits down and says, “Do you really have to call me 'kid?' I think you know my name.”

Dean chuckles. “So much like your dad. We'll figure something out, but calling you Dean makes me feel like I'm talking to myself.”

He nods, having already decided never to address this man without saying “Uncle Dean.” He gets the rare feeling of needing a beer. One appears in his hand causing him to nearly slide off the log they're sitting on.

“Yeah, that takes some getting used to,” Uncle Dean chuckles.

“I guess it's okay if you call me 'kid.' No one else can, though.”

“You, uh, you saw me and Sammy kiss, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“I hate you found out like that, but I guess it's good you know. I don't want you thinking ill of your dad, kid.”

He speaks up before Uncle Dean can continue. “I always knew Dad loved you beyond the scope of normal siblings. I chalked it up to the life you were forced to live, but it seems right somehow. I don't know all the rules yet, but I do already know things are different here. And I know I've never in my life seen my dad as happy as he is with you.”

“So, you're okay with it?”

“Yeah, I'm okay with it. That hot, young blonde, I think her name is Jo, that was helping out with the food all day said I'm handling it better than you did at first.”

Dean laughs. “Yeah, going from decades of brotherhood to romance almost overnight was a bit odd for me. Now I can't really understand why I had a problem with it at all.”

“Uncle Dean, there is something I really need to ask you, though.”

“Shoot, kid,” Dean says, bracing himself for whatever his nephew might ask.

“Did you really kill Hitler?”

Dean nearly falls off the log laughing before he can get the breath to answer, “Damn right, I did!”

Sam stands off in the shadows smiling as the two people most important to him bond. The depth of gratitude and peace he feels in that moment knows no bounds.


End file.
